Fire Cookies

                                Fire Cookies

Rich stifled a yawn. It wasn’t that he had gone to bed so late, it was just that he wasn’t used to so much exercise right between supper time and bed. Gave a guy weird dreams. And it didn’t help that his pillow had mysteriously disappeared.

He wondered absently how long Judah had been left out there last night, most of his mind still firmly in packing his lunch. All the sandwiches were in it, it was just the “snackie things” left to pick out. He remembered the cookies Linnaea had made the night before and went eagerly in search of those. Both chocolate chip and raisin... He took a generous amount of each and stuffed them in his lunchbox as Eric walked in, likewise in search of lunch. 

"Hey, didya remember Judah and Soph last night?" Rich yawned again as he attempted to close his overly-stuffed lunchbox. "They'd better not still be out there..."

"Jim must've gotten to em first," Eric stifled a yawn himself. "I went out around midnight and they were gone."

"Aw rats," Rich grinned. "That ain't fair, I got left out till like three in the morning."

"You deserve what you get," Eric chuckled, shaking his head. "Oh man, I forgot about these raisin cookies... Bless Linn... Making me feel sorta bad about everything last night... She was pretty upset."

Rich laughed out loud, remembering. 

“Nooooo, buddy, that was Furious, not upset. Bless her twice, once for each of us…. I woulda burned them if I made those when I was that mad.” He cocked his head consideringly. “But then, I probably would’ve burned them even if I wasn’t mad.”

"Heh, furious..." Eric grinned ruefully. "You're right... She slapped me."

"Aw man," Rich finally succeeded in slamming his lunchbox shut. "That's what I get for going to bed early... I miss all the good stuff..."

"It was not good," Eric said emphatically. "She can hit hard..." He grimaced at the memory and Rich laughed harder. "Well anyway," Eric continued, snatching up a generous helping of raisin cookies. "I'm awful glad it was Linn making the cookies and not you, she'd never burn anything..." He grinned and shoved the cookies in his lunchbox. "Best cook I've met yet..."

Rich grinned and lifted on eyebrow accusingly.

“You say she’s the best EVERYTHING you’ve ever met, may have to eat your words one day!”

He was to think back on these words with wide eyes in the hours that followed. He grabbed another handful of cookies, belying his words, and shoved them in a bag as he headed out the door. Eric, knowing his ride to the tractors depended on Rich not leaving before him, snatched his own handful and ran out the door right on his heels.

oOo

Eric glanced at his watch... Past noon. No wonder he was getting hungry... Ravenously so. He reached over to grab his lunchbox and flipped it open. Linn's cookies lay on top and he licked his lips in anticipation. Oh, why not? What was that quote... Life is short, eat dessert first? Ignoring his sandwiches, he picked up a cookie and eagerly bit into it.

He chewed, reflectively. She couldn’t be as mad as she let on, not if she made his favourite cookies at the same time. But if she wasn’t, why had she slapped him? He grimaced. That had certainly felt pretty mad to him. Or furious, like Rich said. He was cut off mid-bite by what felt like he’d swallowed a bonfire. He looked accusingly at the cookie, but being a cookie, and a very innocent looking one, it did not tell him anything about this peculiar feeling.

He sat there motionless for a moment,  stunned. And then he did a very stupid thing... It looked so completely normal he thought it must have been his imagination somehow and so he took another bite and then, bewildered, a third. He couldn't think... It was pain, fire, pure fire... Already tears were streaming down his face. Vaguely he remembered the time Rich had dared him to touch a mousetrap with his tongue... That had been pain akin to this. But this was all over his entire mouth and burning its way down his throat and getting much, much worse.

He grabbed furiously for his water bottle, losing the cap in his desperation, and upended up, not caring when some of it didn’t quite go in his mouth. It was NOT enough. Even with all his bottles, all they accomplished was making him very full and pretty wet. 

He slammed the gear shifter into Park and bailed out.

Rich leaned back in his seat, contentedly munching on a chocolate chip cookie. Maybe Eric wasn't exaggerating in his praise of Linnaea's cooking, this was sure quite the cookie. He smiled, pleased, and fished out another chocolate chip. He glanced to the side then and just happened to see something unusual. Something he had never seen in the middle of a work day and it puzzled him greatly. Why should Eric be running like a streak of greased lightning through the field when he was supposed to be sitting in his tractor like a normal human being?

He shrugged, and went back to the cookie. Some things were too important to meddle with philosophy at the same time.

                                                      ~ * ~

Linnaea’s head lifted very suddenly, mid-flip of the bread dough she was punching down…. Not intending to tell anyone what it was that put the vim and vigour into it.

She called pleadingly into the other room. “Sophie, the phone is ringing….”

Sophie obligingly stuck her head in the kitchen doorway. 

“I know, I can hear that. But it’s a good 10 feet closer to you than it is to me, why don’t you answer it?”

Linnaea looked hearty and desperate puppy dog eyes at her, pleading wordlessly. When that didn’t work, she resorted to begging verbally.

“Come on, please?? It might be him, you KNOW it probably is…. And I can’t talk to him, Sophie, I CAN’T.” The tinge of tears put the wavering stand Sophie had taken over the edge.

"Ohh, Linnie, don't look at me like that..." She groaned, marching in after the offending phone. For some reason, Linnie didn't stop. She simply looked harder. Sophie paused, her hand hovering inches over the phone, and looked back.

"I said stop, Linnie," she laughed. "I'm doing it, see? I'm answering the phone!" And thus she did.

And then a very strange expression crossed Sophie's face as she said hello a second time. Pulling the phone away from her ear, she hit the speaker button and held it out so they could both listen.

There wasn’t really that much to hear, at least not by way of words. If a person was listening for half-choking splutters and squalls even a ship would cower at, though, there was plenty to hear.

It sounded vaguely like Rich. In fact, the stray words caught up in all the craziness sounded quite a lot like him. They were pretty choppy, but if you listened very carefully, a sentence or two did raise their heads. They were indignant heads, all of them. And if you put them all together, they sounded something like this.

“LINN!!!!!! Cookies—MURDERED—Roasting alive…. Perfectly good chocolate chips. WHAT did you…. *Choke, splutter* COOKIES, LINN!!!”

Linnaea nearly choked her own self, only on hysteria, and not the cookies Rich kept hollering about.

She broke her own rule and leaned towards the phone, still laughing so hard she could barely breathe. She managed to get it out after three tries.

“Take it easy, Rich…. Just go have a cup of milk, and you’ll be FINE. That’s what you get for kidnapping my best friend, y’know. You reap what you sow…. Let this be a lesson to you!” There was a meanly delighted little giggle working its way into her voice, and she tried her best to cover it up.

No such luck. Rich caught that before he even heard the cure part, and he was on it like a steel trap.

“So you think this is funny, do you??? Well let me tell you, missy, ain’t nothing funny about this kind of fire.”

He broke off,  taking some of that back when he remembered Eric streaking across the field. 

“Well, not much anyway. You ever try that recipe again, have the decency to warn a guy!!

He switched courses very suddenly at this point. “Milk, you said?” 

There was a desperate ring to his voice as he snatched at threads hopefully.

“Yes, milk," Sophie said over Linnaea's shoulder as her friend stifled giggles. "It'll cool the spice."

"Bless you," Rich gulped and there was a beep, signifying he had hung up. The girls glanced at each other and burst into hysterical laughter.

"I wonder how Eric has fared," Sophie grinned, but Linnaea could barely answer, she was laughing so hard.

"Poor guys," she managed to gasp out. "I almost feel bad..."

"Don't." Sophie said quickly. "They deserved it." She paused and then smiled dreamily. "Well... Eric deserved it for sure, but Rich... I'm kinda grateful to him, to be honest..."

She was dashed at and hugged breathless by a Linnie who did not show her face, 

                                              ~ * ~

Bekah was thoroughly startled when the door crashed open and Eric, looking more dead than alive, came tearing into the house. Not seeming to hear her demands for explanation, he brushed past her and stuck his head in the sink, faucet on full blast.

Bekah remembered the cookies then and the furious look on her sister's face the night before. Snickering, she pulled out her phone and began to video the spectacle. The poor guy was red as a tomato and half-blinded with tears. He was guzzling water as if he was dying in the desert and, judging by his gasps of pain, it wasn't helping much.

Again the door flew open and Bekah (and likewise, the phone) swung around to record a feverish looking Rich stumbling in, coughing violently. Amused, Bekah kept the camera trained on him as he made a desperate break for the fridge and came up with a jug of milk. Ah, so Rich knew what he was doing.

Rich poured a glassful with shaking hands and downed the milk in one gulp. A look of peace and relief crossed his face and then he glanced toward Eric, who was swiftly expiring in the sink, and shook his head in pity. He poured another glass of milk and elbowed his friend.

"Here... Drink up, buddy."

Eric didn’t even look what it was, at this point he was ready to try anything. He snatched at whatever it was, and downed it in one frantic gulp. Slowly, very slowly, both heart rate and pallor returned to normal, and he looked at Rich with something like a newfound respect. Of the incredulous variety. There was awe in his voice. 

“How—how did you do that?? I was sure I was going up in smoke not too long from now!”

Rich grinned superiorly at him for exactly ten seconds, and then the superiority fell, and the truth came out.                “Our dear sweet Chief Of Torture took mercy on me…. ‘n I thought it was only fair to pass along the good deed. Ripples, you know.”

Eric looked at him like he’d sprouted an extra head somewhere along the line.

“She TOLD you???? And you let me eat those—those coals of fire untempered without so much as a storm warning??”

He began turning red again, this time with fury and indignation, not hot pepper. In fact, he looked about ready to pound someone, and Rich made a prime target. The target ducked just in time.