ATOP Chapter Forty-Five

"I thought you were dead," Rebekah's voice was deadly calm. She seemed almost incapable of showing emotion besides the flashing of her black eyes and her sudden outbursts of defiance. They sat clustered around a table in a little café just outside of Zeilsheim, Rachel sitting beside Ronnie on one side of the table, and Rishona huddled silently against Rebekah on the other side. In all the time it had taken them to sign the paperwork and leave the camp, she had not spoken one single word, just took everything in with wide, wide eyes. They were so big they were almost all that could be seen of her tiny face.

"No, I..." Rachel began, stammering. She didn't know where to begin... and Ronnie had even less of an idea than she did.

"What happened? After you left?" Rebekah raised an eyebrow aand glared at Ronnie again. "Where is Isaac? Who is this man?"

Sudden pain shadowed Rachel's face and Ronnie's heart sank. Instinctively he moved aside, away from Rachel... he was almost afraid to hear what she would say. But she moved with him and reached for his hand, clinging desperately to him.

"Rebekah, Rishona..." she murmured, tears spilling from her eyes. "I want you to meet my husband... Ronnie Stewart. He... he is... was... an American soldier." She swallowed hard and went on bravely forcing the words out. "Isaac... was killed... by Nazis... before the baby was born..." her voice slowed down and then trailed off.

"Isaac died? You... you got married again?" Rebekah shook her head... she looked bewildered... angry... Rachel couldn't be sure. "Is he a Jew? He... he does not look like one."

"No," Ronnie said quietly. "I'm not a Jew."

"You married outside the faith," Rebekah shook her head again, her voice laced with unbelief. "I... I do not... know... what to say... Are we... going to America then?"

"Jah," Rachel whispered something in German and Bekah pressed her lips together until they were white.

"I have plans," she murmured. "Shonie and I were going to go to Israel. They're sending young people to work... to rebuild... to make us a strong nation again. Think, Rachel... the Promised Land... think! We... I... want to go home."

"Your home is with me now," Rachel wiped the tears from her face and leaned forward, reaching for the hands Rebekah had lain folded on the table... but she jerked away.

"It is too much," she whispered. "It is too fast. I... I need to think..." she was breathing fast, almost panicky. She stood, thrusting her shaking hands deep into the pockets of her sweater. Rishona whimpered as her sister rose and jumped to her feet to cling to her dress again. Rebekah bent to whisper Hebrew words to her little sister... her voice gentler than it had been before. She went on murmuring soothingly, brushing the short, tangled hair back from Rishona's face as she nodded towards Ronnie and Rachel. Rishona looked from Rebekah to Rachel hesitantly and then moved to Rachel's side, nestling into her arms in one quick motion.

"She does not speak," Rebekah said flatly, lifting her chin and clenching her teeth together. "I have not heard her say one word since the day we were taken."

"Shonie..." Rachel clutched her tiny sister closer. "Say something, darling, please..." she repeated it in German and then in Yiddish... Rishona looked up, her face twisted with something Rachel could not understand... and then she slowly shook her head.

"You mean she does not or cannot?" Rachel whispered, her voice trembling.

"I do not know," Rebekah clenched her hands into fists. "Please, I do not want to speak of it tonight. I need to know what will happen now. Where are you taking us, what are we doing and... and is he safe?" she looked pointedly at Ronnie. Rachel buried her face in her hands and did not answer.

"We will spend the night here in the hotel across the street," Ronnie spoke up. "Tomorrow we cross the border into France. We will be there a little while to finalize all the paperwork and then we will go home... to Ohio... I have a farm there. You will both stay with us. I'm sorry. I know this is all happening so fast. I had hoped whoever was in charge would talk to you about all this before we got here..."

Rebekah's chin jutted out a little farther and her breathing grew faster. But she said nothing.

"It's late," Ronnie added, wrapping an arm around Rachel's shoulders. "We should get the girls to bed, eh?"

"Jah," Rachel was relieved at the change of subject. "And when we get back to France... they will need all new things. Dresses and shoes and... and everything..." she glanced hopefully at Ronnie and he smiled half-heartedly.

"Of course."

♡♡♡

"It is just a train, Shonie, just a train, you will be fine." Rachel repeated the words again in German, holding her sister close against her side.

It had been a long, miserable, sleepless night. They had only managed to get one room in the tiny village hotel and while Rachel tried to get her sisters into the bed and Ronnie tried to sleep in a chair in the corner, Rebekah had alternately raged and panicked. She refused to sleep and instead paced the floor, back and forth, back and forth, wringing her hands. Rishona huddled in a ball in the farthest corner of the bed, wrapped completely in the blankets and shaking all over. After many unsuccessful attempts to get Rebekah to stop pacing, Rachel had gotten into bed with Rishona to hold her close and try to calm her.

Rishona had at last fallen asleep, but still Rebekah paced and Rachel shared worried glances with Ronnie across the room. Long, long past midnight, Rebekah folded herself into a corner on the floor and fell asleep with her head on her knees. By then poor Ronnie was asleep in the chair and Rachel hated to wake him, so she pulled her sister to her feet and walked her, half-asleep, to the bed.

And all that night Rachel hadn't slept at all. She knelt beside the bed, hands clasping Rishona's, and prayed until the sun rose.

It was mid-morning now, and the train that was to carry them away from Germany forever was now pulling into the station. And the girls balked at the sight of it. Rishona's eyes grew wide with fear and she ducked behind Rachel, trembling. Rebekah's face was white, her lips pressed tight together, but she held her head high as she pinned her defiant stare on the train.

"I... I do not understand," Rachel turned to whisper to Ronnie. "Shonie is... afraid of it." She hesitated, then turned to Rebekah, her eyes asking the question. Rebekah's eyes flashed in answer.

"They took us on a train to the camp," she murmured. "And from there to another camp, on another train... in cattle cars." she spit out the words and then clamped her lips together again, as if refusing to say more. 

"Oh, Shonie," Rachel whispered and her eyes flooded with tears. She bent over her sister, pulling her close. But Rishona jerked away and Rachel's head shot up in alarm. Again, she turned to Ronnie, silent in her helplessness. He reached forward, laying a gentle hand on Rishona's shoulder. She flinched, but did not move away. Instead she looked up at him, almost curiously. 

"He that abideth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty," Ronnie said softly, smiling down at her. "I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in Him will I trust."

Rishona ducked her head and a tiny sigh escaped her. The train had stopped now, the doors were open, and the call was coming to board... in German, in French, and in English. 

"Well, this is it," Ronnie grinned crookedly. "We gotta get on."

"Right." Rachel sighed. "Rebekah, Rishona, it is alright girls, come. You are safe now, I promise." She reached out to Rishona, but the girl shrank back, shaking her head. 

"Go on," Ronnie nodded at Rachel and, looking anxiously over her shoulder, she stepped on the train. Rebekah followed resolutely, her chin still jutted out determinedly. She stopped and turned in the doorway.

"Shonie, come," she called. "It is alright. See? I am here."

Rishona moved forward then, hesitantly. But instead of going to her sisters, she reached up, slipping a tiny hand into Ronnie's big one. She glanced up at him shyly, then dropped her eyes again, staring at the toes of her scuffed, worn boots.

"She must trust you," Rachel whispered as they finally made it onto the train and the scenery began slowly flashing by. "I am... so glad..." she smiled tenderly at her little sister, now curled up on the seat beside Ronnie, hiding her face in her folded arms. Rebekah sat opposite, beside Rachel, her back straight and stiff as a board, her eyes staring unseeingly ahead. 

"I still do not understand," Rebekah spoke at last, after a long silence. She switched to rapid German without warning, rattling off sentence after sentence, some of them angry, some almost sad and wistful, some accompanied by something akin to tears. Rachel simply listened until Rebekah's words ran out and she leaned forward to gather her sister close, murmuring soft answers in German. Rebekah was stiff and unyielding in her sister's arms, refusing to return the embrace, and yet not pulling away. It was as if she wanted it... and yet was afraid to show it.

Ronnie couldn't understand a word of the conversation. He felt like an outsider... and he didn't have a clue what to do with himself. So he simply sat there and stared out the window, listening to the music of Rachel's voice, and only vaguely catching a name here, a name there. His name seemed to figure the most often, but he heard Isaac and Benjie, and even a bit about Sam and Sandy, it sounded like. And then she went on to talk about the people from home, he was guessing, as he heard his family's names.

On and on Rachel talked, Rebekah interrupting every few minutes, and glancing at Ronnie only to glare distrustfully at him. Once or twice throughout the story, her expression seemed slightly to change... softening, almost warming. But not all the way. It hardened quickly again... and at the word "Christian", she stiffened even more and let out a torrent of angry words.

Rishona wasn't listening to Rachel. She huddled on the seat, curling herself into the tiniest ball possible, but her head began to nod and before long she was fast asleep. She was such a tiny little thing, looking more six than all of her nine years, a pitiful little scrap of humanity with large dark eyes in such a pale, thin, wistful face. Her hair, if it had been longer, would have been beautiful, thick and wavy, almost black. But, like Rebekah's, it hung crookedly, just barely to her shoulders. 

Rachel had stopped talking and just sat in silence for a while as the minutes slowly crawled by. She watched Rishona sleeping, her arms wrapped protectively around herself, her head leaning against Ronnie. And then she turned back to Rebekah, reaching out to touch her sister's hair.

"What happened, Bekah?" she whispered, staring at the chopped ends of the dark locks. Rebekah jerked her head away and turned her face to the window. Not a single word would she say in answer. Rachel seemed almost to fold in on herself, bowing her head low as silent tears filled her eyes. 

"Ronnie..." she whispered brokenly as he reached across to grip her hand. "I... I... cannot help them..."

"Time," he whispered back. "It takes a long, long time."