ATOP Chapter Twenty-Six

Jafe stared across the room, transfixed. Someone was standing beside him and talking a mile a minute, but he hadn't a clue what about. He wasn't even sure who was talking to him. It didn't matter.

Annie stood alone in the opposite corner, leaning against the wall, her head tilted down. Her rich brown hair, braided in a coronet round her head, glinted in the lanternlight, bringing out hues of gold and amber. The light danced over her, outlining the curve of her cheek and setting her eyes aglow. Jafe swallowed hard as he felt himself losing his heart all over again. 

He found his feet moving, almost against his will, carrying him across the room until he stood before her. She glanced up and he tried to smile. It was harder now than it had been earlier in the day. 

"Seems a shame," he heard his voice saying. "No one's picked the prettiest wallflower of all."

"Jafe..." her voice sounded strangely stilted. "Don't start. Please...."

"For old times' sake, then?"

She stared at him, hesitated, then her eyes softened. His heart stopped beating when she put her hand into his. 

"For old times' sake," she murmured and let her lashes hide her eyes as she turned her gaze back to the floor. He led her into the circle of dancers, scarcely daring to breathe for fear that he would wake from this dream. For of course, it must be a dream... all those years gone by and Annie in his arms again? He shook his head at himself, grimly. He had seen enough of life to know that things that seemed to good to be true, were. 

The previous song had ended... a lively reel in which Josh had taken much delight. Poor Emma had fled at the final notes to seek rest and relief in sipping a mug of cider whilst collapsing wearily on a haybale, her breath spent. Josh joined her, his eyes twinkling roguishly as he poked her and nodded significantly at Jafe and Annie. 

Emma had been wary in the advice she gave Katie on the subject of matchmaking. It had gone mostly along the lines of what Gilbert had said to Anne... that matchmaking was not for amateurs... and was not Katie an amateur? Katie had taken the advice solemnly and had said not much of anything... but it was clear that she was at work here. At the end of the reel, in which Jafe and Annie had taken their first timid steps towards the dance floor, Emma had seen her sister whispering to the fiddle player and now the music was starting again. Emma smiled as she recognized the song... Katie had chosen well. Emma was proud of her little sister. 

It was a slow, sad-sounding song... and the tune only... Katie had considered singing, but she was afraid Jafe would suspect her of meddling then. It didn't matter. It was a well-known song. Emma let the words run through her mind...

I wish I didn't love you so,

My love for you should have ended long ago...

They stood still for the first few notes of the song. Jafe didn't quite know what to do... he had always prided himself on his common sense, his self-possession... and here he was falling to pieces right in front of Annie. He hoped desperately that it didn't show. 

She was the one who began the dance. Reaching up, she placed her left hand on his shoulder, and... folded the fingers of her right hand through his. Slowly, they danced together... moving as if they held something fragile... something that would shatter in a moment if they weren't careful enough. 

I wish I didn't need your kiss,

Why must your kiss torture me as long as this...?

I might be smiling by now with some new tender friend...

"It's been a long time..." Jafe tried, hating himself for speaking. He didn't dare ruin this moment, and yet here he was spoiling it already...

"Mmm..." Annie didn't really answer him. But neither did she forbid him from speaking.

Smiling by now with my heart on the mend...

"Annie, I..." his voice was no more than a whisper. She let her eyes drop lower. He bit his lip, trying to force himself into silence when there was so much he wanted to say...

But when I try, something in my heart says no...

You're still there... I wish I didn't love you so...

"Jafe..." it was Annie who whispered now, and for a fleeting second she looked up at him. The meeting of their eyes was both their undoing. A tear slipped loose and slid down her cheek. He wiped it gently away without realizing what he was doing. He wanted to cry to... but tears never came easily to him. Perhaps he should be glad of that. 

"Why..." he murmured aloud while internally he screamed at himself. No way was he going to ask that question... he couldn't bring that up, not here, not now...! But it was too late... it spilled out, unwanted. 

"Why did you say no?"

There. It was out. And it surprised him... it surprised both of them. Years ago, when she had said no, he hadn't ever dared to ask that. Perhaps he had never even thought of it. But he had always wondered. He had always thought there was someone else... drat that Tom Allen and that smile of his that all the girls had always swooned over... he brought his mind to a halt at that. Tom Allen was married long ago and had no less than six children. But Annie had never married... and as far as he knew, she had never even so much as dated anyone else. At least, her name had never been coupled to anyone else's except in a few fleeting rumors that had proved false over the years. 

"You..." she pulled her hand from his abruptly and drew back. "You ask me that... now? After all these years?" She looked... angry... startled... almost frightened. He also stepped back. But she was moving towards him again, lowering her voice in a tense, rapid whisper.

"You, Japheth Scott, why would you dare ask that? You mock me, break my heart, and then after all these years, you come back to mock me again? I should have known... you were never anything more than a practical joker... you never loved me, you only pretended to... I'm only a joke to you, that's all, nothing more... when you are... were... everything to me..." 

"A... a... a joke?" Jafe stammered, bewildered. "Annie, what... what...?"

"Yes, a joke," she hissed. "You know that well, Mr. Scott. You made a joke out of everything. You were joking when you proposed... don't you think I knew that? And maybe it was funny to you, but it broke my heart. She told me..." she bit her lip to end her frantic flow of words.

"Sh... she?" Jafe faltered helplessly. His mind was still swirling back at the part where she said he was everything to her... didn't that mean... she loved him? "Who on earth... Annie... who?"

"Oh... Cecilia... it doesn't matter now. She told me about the bet..."

"The... what?"

"With those horrid friends of yours... the bet... the joke... to make a fool of me by asking me to marry you..." here she stopped again. But she had said enough. Jafe knew what had happened now and he seethed with anger. Drat Cecilia and her big bug eyes... she had never left him alone. It had been worse than ever in those days following his failed proposal attempt as he tried to piece the shattered fragments of his heart back together again...

He caught Annie's hand, and with determination in every fiber of his being, marched her up to the front of the room.

"Alright, alright here, stop that music," he bellowed, and the fiddles came to a screeching halt. He saw Katie in the background, her eyes glowing with misunderstanding excitement. But Emma was looking at Annie rather than Jafe, and her face went white. 

"Alright, folks, I got an announcement to make," Jafe raised his voice even louder. The room was silent... all eyes were on him and Annie, who stood trembling at his side. She wanted to pull away, but hadn't as yet gathered the courage to risk her dignity. 

"I'm gonna correct here a mistake of seventeen years standing," Jafe went on, squeezing Annie's hand as it shook in his. "And ye are all my witnesses. This girl here... Anne Tyler... I love her with all my heart. Always have, always will. And my love is real and true. I would die before I would make a joke about it or play with her heart in any way... I love her with everything that is in me and more, and I'll love her till the day I die..."

He might have said more, but Annie wrenched her hand from his grasp with a sob and fled. He turned gray as ashes and stalked off before anyone could venture a word.

And thus the dance ended.