Chapter Eighty-Two

Mac thought long and hard over Katie's kiss. His mind kept returning to it obsessively. Surely she wouldn't have kissed him if she hadn't felt something for him. A kiss on the cheek was different… done out of friendship or pity or maybe both. But the other kiss… and she had said something too. Words he hadn't quite caught, or didn't think he caught, breathed against his lips in one brief moment. But the memory sent shivers down his spine. The words were dancing through his mind… and he didn't know whether to believe them or not.

I love you… I love you…

He met Katie that afternoon with his heart in his throat. He found he was barely able to speak and so he didn't even try. He offered her his arm, as he always did, but this time… she took his hand in hers, lacing her fingers through his. His heart fluttered wildly and he walked mutely along at her side until they reached their usual spot, the bench at the far edge of the hospital courtyard.

“I’ve… I’ve got something to tell you, Mac.” Katie released her grip on his hand and sank to the bench, lowering her head as she fiddled with her purse. “And please, for heaven’s sake, don’t interrupt me, or I’ll lose my poor, broken-down train of thought all together.” She paused, drawing a deep breath. When she continued again, she kept her head down, as if afraid to look at him.

“My life… hasn’t gone at all the way I once thought it would. And I know… I know what you’re thinking. Neither has yours. Or any single person our age… or probably anyone at all. Everyone in the world has had their lives uprooted one way or another by this… this terrible war. But… in my life… it’s just taken me a while to… to come to terms with all of it. 

“When I was a girl, I had dreams, just like any other girl. I dreamed of growing up and… and falling in love. Going to prom and having sodas at Pop’s, roller skating in the park and strolling through the hills, going fishing down at the creek and sailing on Lake Erie. Swimming, hiking, singing. Mostly singing. And then… marrying my highschool sweetheart and settling down in a little house, having a couple of babies. I wanted to stay at home… always. I never wanted to be farther than a fifteen-minute walk away from my family. I never wanted to have any more drama than the drama of… of waking up at three in the morning to feed a crying baby. Or bargaining with the grocer for twenty-five cents worth of beef, or sacrificing money saved for a new dress for the gas bill instead. 

"And then came the war. I was only seventeen then. My highschool sweetheart… then my fiancé… joined the Navy and went down with his ship in Guadalcanal. It shattered my heart into a million fragments. The drama in my life then was the news… always the news. Stories of our men dying by the hundreds… by the thousands… defeats and victories. Dealing with Jerry’s death and Ronnie being wounded and Emma being far away from home, goodness knows where… and Mama always being sad and scared… and then I joined the USO. It fulfilled one dream of mine, in a way… singing. But I wanted to do more. And so I joined the Red Cross. And here I am, thousands of miles from home, I haven’t seen a single member of my family in months… and… if it hadn't been for you... I'd have been so... so alone...”

She broke off, stifling a sob. Mac slipped his arm around her shoulders. She was trembling like a leaf beneath his touch. And still she didn’t look at him. 

“But the more I think and pray about it, the more I try to come to peace with God’s will. Because… it must be His will, mustn’t it? And He… He knows best. I know. I try. I try to have faith, I try to believe. And then I realize that somehow… all this has helped me, in a way. I know I don’t look it now, but I’ve become stronger. Braver, I suppose. Even when I’m scared to death. I’ve managed to face every fear I've ever had and many I never knew I had. And I’ve realized that… if none of this had happened… if I had never left home and family to sail halfway across the world then… then…”

She looked up at him then, her eyes red with crying, her lower lip trembling. Her last words were whispered, so softly, he could barely catch them. But they fell like notes of music on his ears.

“Then I never would have met the man I love.”

He must have been staring at her in disbelief, because suddenly she was laughing through her tears as she repeated herself.

"Yes, Mac, I love you. Do you hear me? I love you, Malcom Isaac Scott, I love you so much…"

He pulled her close against him, rocking gently back and forth as her shoulders shook with sobs. It was strange… strange to feel so sad and yet so terribly happy at the same time. His soul was fairly flooding with joy. He had long since given up hope that she could ever truly love him. And now… now the world seemed opened up to him.

“Will you marry me now, Lintie?” he whispered. "Please. Please don't leave me."

“Yes,” she murmured, her answer muffled against his shirt front. “I'm here. I'll stay as long as you need me."

When he found his voice again, it was shaking with tears, but he still managed a laugh.

"Thought maybe you wouldn't marry me cause of this old leg," he teased, grinning. She shook her head wildly, horrified.  

"Never, Mac, never!" she sobbed. Bending her head, she kissed his wooden knee. Her caress touched his heart and he loved her more at that moment than he ever had. 

"Don't…" he murmured, grasping her shoulders and lifting her face to his. "Kiss me here… where I can feel it." And he pressed his lips to hers.