Mice With Milk Moustaches

Dunnage.

Of all the words that have gone on before it on this page, Dunnage may perhaps prove to have the most practical use. (Behold the equally practical font I have paired with it.) In fact, having never to my knowledge heard it before in my life, I have, since its discovery, both heard and used it on a fairly frequent basis the past two weeks. (These were a different Past Two Weeks than the ones we have behind us now, as this was written months ago and then fished back out of the cupboard to be published….) 

What does it mean?  Well, allow me to explain.

Say you take a stack of lumber, and you load it on the forks of, for instance, a forklift. That seems like a fairly sensible thing to use, doesn’t it? Well, so you go driving along to the place you intend to put it, and you set it down. So far so good. You are quite pleased with yourself, because it is slightly to be doubted that you have used one more than twice before in your life. A forklift, I mean. (And if you steer the thing wrong, it could, y’know, take out a medium-sized pole that holds the roof up. Or something. It is advisable to keep your toes out of the way. But getting back to the proceedings at hand!)

You attempt to back away from your bundle (it standing to reason that it cannot come along to your next destination, as there is, in all likelihood, a second bundle to be taken along the same route) and leave it where you have so carefully manoeuvred to. It, however, possesses different ideas, and having grown somewhat attached to you on the way over, stays right with you. It has now left the place you put it, and in the way of the Original Ruth, is going with you wherever you go. Stubbornly. 

This is where the dunnage comes in.

“Wait!” They holler, as they come to your rescue.

(They being People Of Considerably More Experience Than You) 

“You forgot the dunnage!” 

And they slide something under one end, and run around to the other to give it the same treatment. (A set of thickish boards will work beautifully,  but pieces of styrofoam left over from insulating the place have been known to work too.)

Then they explain it to you carefully, so you will be sure to know what they mean the next time they holler for dunnage from the other end of the shop. 

Dunnage is (this grammar feels strange, but Dunnage Are sounds worse. So “Is” it is. I believe it may be plural, which would render my grammar quite dreadfully Wrong in any case) the pieces of wood that are placed beneath each end of a stack of lumber, so that there will be room for the forks of your lifter, whatever it may be, to slide underneath it the next time you need to move it. So much easier. So much less impossible. Equally useful for when you need to get back out from under it, like now. 

Thusly enlightened, you try sliding your forks out once again, and to your extreme pleasure, they slide out from under the bundle without the slightest protest. 

Dunnage. Who knew? 😉Well, you know it now, and doooohon’t you fergit it! Seriously, keep it in your back pocket. You may need it again. (Or not. This is an equally likely option, but you MAY, you know, and it is wise to be ready for such occasions)

~ Note that this is not a true story, merely an Informative Picture Designed For The Enlightenment Of People Reading.  

In real life they said “get the dunnage!” as they steered the forklift where they wanted to go, and we scratched our heads til a kindly standerby took pity on us and told us what it was we were being sent for.