TDTLBU Chapter Seventy-Four

"Please, God, please..."

Over and over, those two little words, "please, God," which said so little and meant so much. It was the desperate prayer of a frightened child, an "Abba Father", a plea for mercy. 

Mickey had been praying for so long and yet the terror that had first driven him to his knees hadn't passed from his soul. It hung over him like a shadow, this feeling of dread, and he didn't know how to beg hard enough. 

Something was wrong. Deep in his heart, he could feel it, and it was maddening. He didn't know what was wrong but somehow, something was. And so he prayed harder, wishing the words that he needed would come to him. 

"Please, God, take care of Ronnie," he whispered again, and a tear traced its way down the freckles on his cheek. "He's missing out there somewhere and he's in trouble. Please, God, take care of my brother... I never even told him how much I love him and miss him and... he's just gotta come home. He... he promised..." here the voice broke. "He promised to take me fishing when he got back. And... and pitch for our baseball team... you know he's the best pitcher in the whole of Jefferson... and I... I need him, God. Please... please..." He broke down and sobbed, letting his head fall on the bed. Tangled, damp hair hung over his forehead and he brushed it back with trembling hands. He knew what he needed to do now, and he was gonna do it. No more pushing it off. If God was going to answer this prayer, then...

"I'm sorry," he added, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Sorry I've been holding back. I thought about... about making a deal with Thee but... that's not the right way to do it. And so... I'll give my heart to Thee right now, this very minute. And ask Thee to show me how to pray. How to pray hard enough and... please... God..."

The terror didn't go away. The fear was still there, as bad as ever. But along with that dread came a feeling of peace. God was there and He was listening. He cared. And Mickey didn't know what the answer was going to be, but just knowing that his prayers really were reaching heaven... it comforted him. And so he kept on praying, strengthened by the peace in his soul.

✯✯✯

"I'm not afraid to die."

Brave words. Brave and foolish words. Silence fell, but those words seemed to echo through the air a hundred times over.

“Not afraid to die?” The corporal laughed again, but his laughter was faint, his face slowly draining of color. The fearlessness of the man before him somehow unnerved him. It wasn’t right… wasn’t natural. The hand holding the gun shook. Something was holding him back, keeping him from pulling that trigger. As if an unseen Hand had closed over his, warning him not to do it... it terrified him. An icy chill ran down his spine.

"Verdammt Amerikanisch," he snapped. Slowly he lowered his pistol. "Take him to the lieutenant."

As the guards dragged Ronnie down the path towards the shack where the lieutenant kept his office, he glanced back over his shoulder. The ranks of men were being dispersed, herded back into their huts like cattle. A sharp word from one of the guards in German snapped him back to attention, at the same moment as a hard fist came crashing against the side of his face. He turned back, the metallic taste of blood filling his mouth. But that one brief glance had lifted his spirits. The men held their heads high as they were pushed back to their cells. They walked with the springing step of proud soldiers. Somehow something had changed inside of them. And that was enough.

✯✯✯

“Ai li lu li lu,” Rachel sang softly as she rocked her baby, cradling him close to her heart. “Sleep my little bird, close your little eye… ai li lu li lu , sleep in peace, know of no sorrows.” She lifted a corner of the blanket she had wrapped him in to dry her tears. She felt very alone that night. 

It was such a strange feeling to be safe. To not have to be in constant fear for her life. Rachel hardly knew how to cope with the newness of it all. Her situation was hardly better than it had been before… but at least there was food and blankets and… security. She was grateful. But now the feeling of loneliness overwhelmed her and she wept in the darkness.

How long had it been since she had lost Isaac? How she missed his smile… the sparkle of his black eyes… the warmth of his embrace. Benjie had his eyes. Had the same dimple in his chin. Rachel blinked hard as a tear slipped from her eyes and fell onto the baby’s dimpled chin. She wiped it away and pulled her baby closer. 

“Ai li lu li lu, a good angel should be your guardian… ai li lu li lu, with his wings o’er your cradle…” 

“You remind me of Isaac,” her own words echoed through her mind. “He loved children…. You’ve made a new friend, haven’t you, little one?”

She had thought often of the American soldier in the days since she had left frozen Belgium far behind. Her guardian angel. She smiled faintly at that thought… a guardian angel in battle uniform and carrying a rifle. But her smile faded as she turned her eyes to her sleeping baby and wondered where her soldier was tonight. He had saved her life and her baby’s life… had he given up his own life for them?

Rachel sank against the hard back of the bench, cuddling Benji closer against her heart. She closed her eyes, her lips murmuring a lullaby while her heart uttered a prayer. 

“Yahweh… if he is still on this earth… keep him safe. If he is in heaven with Thee, then… tell him how grateful I am, Lord. Not a day has passed since then that I have not thanked Thee for sending him. And I will thank Thee for him every day of my life. Even though I will never see him again this side of heaven.” 

She pressed her lips tightly together to hold back a sob. Huddling in the warmth of the coat he had left her, she remembered the feeling of his arms around her. Strong, reassuring, protective. The look of tenderness and sympathy in his blue eyes. He had brought peace and security into her lonely, miserable existence just when she needed it most. After so many long, weary months of hiding in terror, she had found safety and shelter in his presence. And now he was gone.

She could no longer control her tears. She let them flow freely, bending her head over her baby as she sang softly, brokenly, through her lullaby.

“Ai li lu li lu, a good angel should be your guardian… from today ‘til tomorrow morning… with his wings o’er your cradle, he quietly covers you.”