The Lady of My Choosing Chapter Four

 Chapter Four

My Future To Be Decided

    "Would you be so good as to join me in the library?" Prince David offered his arm to Lady Caroline as she directed a pleading glance towards Queen Elinor. "I would wish to discuss something with you." Caroline hesitated, trying to hang back.

    "Yes, do run along, Caroline, dear." Queen Elinor interposed. "We are quite able to spare you here."

    "Your majesty, I..." Caroline began, wondering wildly what on earth she could say. "I had hoped to retire early this evening and I..."

    "It is yet very early in the evening," Queen Elinor's voice was still calm and polite but her eyes pressed her meaning. "You can very well take a turn round the library and still retire in good time. No, I insist."

    "With a curtsey, Caroline assented and took the prince's arm as he escorted her from the room. As the pair disappeared through the doors, John followed them with his eyes, a look of concern on his face. He had been beating Edward at yet another game of chess but now he was considerably distracted and the tide of the game turned. Edward won in a mere ten minutes.

    The library was dark and chilly, the fire having died down in the grate. Caroline shivered as she took a seat close by and fixed her eyes on the dying embers. She kept her head down as the prince stood before the fire, looking at her, not without a slight contempt, as he was wont to look on all his fellow creatures. But he was shrewd, and understood the political advantage of such an alliance. He would not let contempt and disdain get in the way of that. And so he set about trying to charm the lady in his own selfish, arrogant way.

    "I cannot begin to tell you," he began, insincerely, "How much pleasure these last few days have afforded me. Your company has been the most pleasant I've ever received. And I beg permission to allow me to tell you of the high regard I hold for you."

    "Regard, your Highness?" Caroline did not look up as she spoke with a slight measure of amusement. Regard, indeed!/

    "Indeed. In fact, Lady Caroline, I have long admired you for your beauty both of person and of manner. Please allow me to confess my deepest love and admiration."

    "Admiration," Caroline repeated, her voice filled with sarcasm.

    "And love," he insisted again. "Lady Caroline de Montague," he bent on one knee, decorously, and took her hand in his. She recoiled from his touch, his hand had a cold, dead feeling. "It would give me the greatest honor if you would consent to be my wife."

    Caroline looked up for the first time and shivered when she met his cold, black eyes.

    "I am sorry, your Highness, but I regret to say that I cannot return your sentiments. I am honored by your regard and admiration, but I am afraid that I cannot accept your offer of marriage."

    "Why so?" the prince was thrown out of his careful decorum and looked at her with genuine surprise. How could a lady possibly resist his profession of love? His offer of marriage, so desired by so many ladies and princesses?

    "It is impossible," Caroline protested feebly. "I cannot. I am sorry. I beg your Highness's permission to retire to my chambers."

    "Go then," he said coldly, releasing her hand and standing, rigidly. "I hope you realize the great mistake you have made in refusing my offer."

    "Forgive me for saying so, your Highness," Caroline stood also. "But I believe that accepting your offer would have been a far greater mistake." Holding her head high, she turned and swept from the room.

oOo

    Caroline was not long in her room before a page came to inform her that her presence was requested immediately in the throne room. Pale but determined, Caroline re-entered the royal presence and greeted her aunt and uncle formally but coldly. She trembled inside, for she was certain she knew what would follow.

    "Caroline, my dear," the king began. "Prince David has informed me you have refused his offer of marriage. Is this so?"

    "This is so." Caroline returned calmly.

    "Did you realize that you had not the liberty to refuse this offer?"

    "I beg to differ, Your Majesty." Caroline tried to still her beating heart as she pled her case. If only there were not so many people in the room! Prince David was not there, thank goodness, but all the ladies in waiting and Edward and John as well! Why did John have to be there at this moment? "Since it is my future that is to be decided, I believe I was justified in making the decision."

    The court seemed all at once to draw in its breath. The king frowned and turned to his wife. Caroline stood before them silently, her eyes downcast, looking as if she was on trial for her life.

    "Caroline," the king spoke firmly. "I insist that you accept Prince David's offer. For the good of the kingdom, you know."

    "Of course," the queen added before Caroline could reply. "A marriage can always take place, even without her acceptance."

    Caroline's head shot up and her eyes flew open wide. She wavered a moment as if she would fall. Behind her, John ventured a step towards her, but Edward laid a hand on his arm and shook his head almost imperceptibly. He knew it wouldn't do to cause a fuss, his parents could still be reasoned with.

    But, alas! With Caroline in such a state of mind, a fuss could most certainly not be avoided. Without even asking permission, Caroline turned and fled the room, leaving the court abuzz with shock.

oOo

    Without bothering to change from her elaborate silk gown, Caroline hurried through the corridors and outside into the snow. The weather was dark and stormy, the wind howling fiercely but she didn't seem to notice. Entering the stables, she found Regina and buried her face in the horse's neck for a moment, weeping.

    "Regina!" she whispered. "If only they understood as you do! You... and John... are the only ones in the world who understand!" As she spoke, she led her horse out from the stall and, with the help of an obliging pail, climbed up on her back, nearly falling as she did so. She had discarded her hoops already but the silk skirts and petticoats insisted on being contrary as she sat bareback and astride.

    She was thankful just then that she happened to remember the long-forgotten door in the palace gates behind the stables. Edward had shown it to her one day with a mischievous grin as he told her how he had managed to slip out time and time again without anyone's notice. There were no guards on duty there. Caroline found it and rode on out of the courtyard.

    She was not quite certain what she was doing... she had no intention of running away, of course, but a little time away from, not only the royalty and nobility, but the servants, the pages, the guards, the officials, would indeed be a vast relief. And so, she rode out to the meadow, not seeming to notice the frigid air as the fierce winter storm began to pick up speed.

    As she reached the center of the meadow, she at once urged Regina into a gallop, longing to ride like the wind once again. Regina tore along the snowy ground, frightened nearly out of her wits by her mistress's sudden panic. Blinded by tears, Caroline didn't pay attention to the path she was taking and gave her horse the reins. And suddenly, before she even realized what was happening, Regina had stumbled, was down on her knees and Caroline was thrown over the horse's head, landing heavily in the snow. Regina scrambled up again but Caroline lay still, aching dreadfully all over. She could not even lift herself from the ground.

    "Go, Regina!" she whispered. "Go and bring help!" Shaking her head with a whinny, the horse turned and cantered back towards the palace, longing for her warm stable. Caroline tried to lift her head but fell back with a groan. As the snow swirled around her, she felt the world spinning, growing darker, turning black, and all was silent.