ATOP Chapter Fifty

"Hi, Mommy," Benjie poked his head through the kitchen doorway, showing a dimpled smile.

"Hi,  Baby," Rachel laughed. "What are you doing?"

"Me is happy," Benjie grinned wider and toddled into the kitchen, holding his hands behind his back. "Me loves Aunt Bekah an' Aunt Sho'ee."

"Me loves them too," Rachel felt her heart melting as she looked down at the little boy. There he stood, all dimples and sweetness, a tiny little blessing... "And me loves you," she scooped him up and wrapped him in a giant hug... and without warning he was snatched from her arms and disappeared into the living room, laughing hysterically over Ronnie's shoulder.

"Stop, Daddy, stoooooop," Rachel could hear him screeching from the other room, in-between uncontrollable laughing. "Daddy... tickles.... stop!" There was sudden silence, and then a giggle. "Tickle me," Benjie demanded, and the entire sequence of shrieking and screaming for mercy began all over again.

Rachel shook her head, laughing softly to herself as she turned her attention back to her apple strudels. She heard quiet footsteps behind her and she found herself holding her breath. Rebekah sat down gingerly on the edge of a kitchen chair and poked a strudel, her forehead creased in thought.

"Mama's recipe?"

"Jah, it is," Rachel pulled another tray from the oven and lifted flaky, golden pastries onto the cooling rack. "Not quite as good as she could make them, but I try..."

Rebekah had picked one up and taken a bite. Her voice was even quieter when she spoke again.

"They taste like Mama's."

"Ach, that is good," Rachel broke into a beaming smile. "Eat as many as you like."

Rebekah's answering smile was barely there... just the shadow of one. But she finished off the strudel and reached for another.

"What am I expected to do here?" She spoke flatly, her words forceful.

"What do you mean?"

"Now that I am here... what am I to do with my life? Everything... has changed..."

"Well..." Rachel fumbled, searching for the right words. "This... this is your home, my sister. You can do whatever you like. I could use some help with the cooking and the laundry... not much, just a little, the work is not hard. And there is always something to do on the farm. You will go back to school, of course."

A strange and terrifying look crossed Rebekah's face. She dropped the half-eaten strudel like a stone and pushed her chair back with a sudden, violent movement.

"School?"

That was all, just one word, spat out like it was poison. She looked Rachel up and down, searchingly, her eyes icy cold.

"You do not understand," she snapped. Turning heel, she vanished from the kitchen. Rachel heard the front door slam. She did not cry this time, did not let herself think anything remotely despairing. Instead she pressed her lips tight together and drew one long, slow, deep breath.

"Ronnie? Benjie!" She called in the direction of the living room. "Ach, there are my boys," she added as the aforementioned entered the kitchen, Benjie sitting atop Ronnie's shoulders and fighting him for his glasses. "Strudel must be eaten while it is hot, Ronnie, help me, please."

"With all my heart," Ronnie laughed, stumbling blindly towards the table as Benjie triumphantly tried on the glasses. "Just tell me where."

"Do you have a lot to do today?" Rachel retrieved the glasses as Benjie slid to the ground and wiped the sticky fingerprints off with the corner of her apron.

"Yeah... got a little behind, being away for so long," Ronnie slid into a chair with a sigh. "Bit worn out though," he grinned at her. "I'd rather just sit in the kitchen all day and eat strudels."

"Well, I shall run out eventually," Rachel returned the glasses to their rightful owner and, scooping up her baby again, plopped into the chair across from her husband. "Oof... he gets harder to hold all the time, there is not much room left in my lap anymore..."

"Move over, Baby," Benjie added, tapping Rachel's stomach. "No room!"

"Hey, li'l Squirt," Ronnie laughed. "You have gotta learn to share with your baby brother there. Or sister, whichever it is."

"Shonie is still sleeping, the poor little dear," Rachel caught Benjie's hand. "Have you been thinking about that letter?"

Ronnie shrugged, a shadow crossing his face.

"I wasn't expecting that."

"It is an honor," Rachel murmured.

"It's a mockery," Ronnie muttered back, turning his face to hide his eyes from her. 

"Dear heart..." Rachel's voice dropped to a whisper. Nervously, she fidgeted with the collar of Benjie's shirt. He squirmed away from her and jumped to the floor.

"Me go find Aunt Sho'ee?" he asked hopefully, turning a sunny face up to his mommy.

"Jah, jah, go and find her," Rachel shooed him off encouragingly. "Go tell her to come and eat."

"Otay," Benjie paused on his way through the kitchen to throw his arms around Ronnie's knee. "Don't be sad, Daddy. Me loves you."

"God bless that child," Ronnie watched him go.

"You will... go... will you not?" Rachel frowned, hesitating. She wasn't sure how to broach this subject. The gray in Ronnie's eyes only deepened.

"Must I?"

"The Congressional Medal of Honor..." Rachel said slowly. "I do not completely understand, but it sounds important... and you are supposed to meet the president... Ronnie... you should go."

"I..." Ronnie groaned and hid his face in his hands. "I... can't... Rachel..."

♡♡♡

Rebekah shivered in the chilly spring breeze, pulling her sweater close and wrapping her arms around her body. She kept her chin tucked down, her body hunched as she shielded herself... comforted herself... in her solitude. Slowly she wandered down the gravel lane and cut across a meadow. The big Stewart farmhouse lay just over the next rise, nestled in that distant grove of ancient shade trees. The trees were all just beginning to bud and the new green seemed to shine in the morning sun. The sound of birdsong... it spoke the promise of peace to her soul... 

But birds had sung in that forsaken hell of Ravensbruck too.

Rebekah lifted her head at what sounded like the sound of her name, far away... and suddenly her whole posture change. Her body stiffened as she dropped her arms to her sides, threw back her shoulders, jutted her chin out. She thought for one fleeting moment of rushing back to the house, but changed her mind and stood her ground, waiting in silence as Mickey sauntered across the meadow towards her.

"Guten morgen," he announced proudly as he entered comfortable hearing distance. "See? German. Rachel taught me." He laughed gleefully and Rebekah shuddered. He was too happy.

"Versuchen sie nicht, mich zu bevormunden," she answered curtly and he laughed again.

"Sorry, that was about the extent of my knowledge. Ooh, except this one... I think it goes 'Ah Bey Say, Cat schloften schnae, schnae ga vecht, cat schloft in dleckt.' Isn't that cool? It means 'ABC, cat sleeps in snow, snow goes away, cat sleeps in dirt. Of course you know that though, why am I trying to translate German to a native speaker?" He grinned crookedly at her. "Now tell me what you said."

"I said 'do not patronize me'," she narrowed her eyes. "And whatever you said about cats and dirt... that is gibberish." She side-stepped to avoid him and kept on walking. He followed her, hands shoved carelessly in the pockets of his jeans as he kept up a steady stream of conversation.

"Awful pretty morning, isn't it? This is my favorite kind of weather. When the air is sorta crisp and clear, and you can fill your lungs right up with the freshness of it, and the sun is so warm it feels like a hug... and that gentle breeze... isn't it lovely?"

Rebekah squinted up at the sky, glanced sideways at him, and shrugged. She quickened her pace, annoyed that he kept right in stride. How to get away from him? She wondered vaguely what he would do if she just ran.

"...So glad it's a Saturday," he was saying. "No school. I got all day t'show you around the farm, if you want. D'ya like horses? Cows, sheep, pigs?"

Rebekah shrugged again and moved on a little faster. He matched her.

"What about kittens? We have a new litter in the hayloft... if we hurry, we can get to them before anyone else does, c'mon!" And before she could say anything or move to resist him, he had snatched up her hand and was practically dragging her along towards the barn at a crazy speed.

Rebekah found herself a scant fifteen minutes later seated cross-legged in a pile of hay in the loft with fuzzy baby kittens heaped on her lap, and Mickey's freckled face grinning eagerly at her from the rafters just above. He was perched precariously there, long legs dangling as if it was a perfectly normal place to be sitting, and a tomcat balanced on his shoulder as if that was a normal place to sit too.

"Since you are so determined to speak endlessly," she said finally, looking pointedly up at him for a moment before letting her eyes fall back on the kittens. "Why not tell me everything about this family of yours? I want to know it all."

Mickey beamed and Rebekah fished a tiny calico from her kitten pile and lifted it to her face. It squeaked softly and again that ghost of her smile flitted over her lips. Mickey caught it and it made his own smile that much wider.

"Well, first of all..." he spoke softly, his eyes filling with something that Rebekah couldn't identify. "The most important thing about this family is that they stick together. No one was ever built to go through life alone. And no one ever should. Dunno what we'd all do without each other..." He grinned sideways at her. "You're part of this family now too, y'know. I'm glad you are."

Rebekah didn't answer. She just let him talk.

♡♡♡

The sun was sinking in the west, purple twilight mingling with the last golden glow. Ronnie stood alone, work-roughened hands gripping the top rail of the pasture fence as gray eyes stared unseeingly past the horizon.

The day was growing cold with the setting sun and the wind picking up, whistling sharply through the trees with a wild, mournful sound. It was a lonely cry, as it wrapped around the solitary figure at the farm gate.

At first, he didn't see Rachel walking down the lane towards him. Her hair, usually twisted neatly up, had escaped its pins and tumbled wildly down her back. It was blowing in the wind now and she pushed it back from her face, shading her eyes as she moved towards the sunset.

He turned at the crunch of gravel underfoot and looked at her in silence as she reached his side. She laid her hand over his on the fence rail, wrapping her fingers through his. He smiled down at her, a slow, sad smile. Her answering smile shone with love and hope. She pressed his hand against her heart and moved to rest her head on his shoulder.

They didn't move as the sun set, standing still until the sky turned a purply-black and the evening star appeared. She turned toward him then and, standing on tiptoe, brushed a gentle kiss against his lips.

"Perfect love casteth out fear," she whispered.

He pulled her towards him and bent to kiss her again.

"And there is no fear in love..." he whispered back.