TDTLBU Chapter Sixty-One

 Mac grinned, standing still on the sidewalk. He felt as if he was going to burst, he was so happy to see her and yet… what on earth was she going to say when she saw him?

Because she didn't see him, not yet. She was walking slowly, her head bent over a letter. It was the first time he had seen her wearing anything other than a uniform… it was only a plain navy dress, as simple and practical as they come, but it was beautiful. Or rather, she made it beautiful. He just stood there and stared, grinning like an idiot.

"Morning, miss," he said cordially as she passed him. She glanced up, nodding a greeting with a smile.

"Good morning," and she passed on by. She went no more than three or four steps before she stopped. For a long moment, she froze, her back to him, and then abruptly, she turned heel and doubled back.

"Malcom Isaac Scott!" she cried, her eyes wide. "What in heaven's name are you doing here?"

"Got a job," he shrugged, still grinning. "Couldn't pass it up."

"Oh, you," Katie scoffed, shaking her head. "You… you are insufferable."

She was walking away again. Mac didn't move. Like before, she stopped a few steps away and came back.

"What will your mother say?"

Mac laughed.

"She's on my side, Lintie."

"Of course." For the third time Katie walked away and for the third time, she came straight back. Mac didn't know whether to laugh or cry at this point. But he laughed. No sense in getting too hysterical.

"So… so you're just gonna… you're…" Katie broke off, clutching at her throat. "Ah… I don't know what I'm saying. I give up."

"I'm gonna stay in England a while, that's all," Mac shrugged. "I like it here. Nice place. A little too close to the Nazis for my liking, but still. Lot of…" he glanced at her sideways, smiling. "Lot of nice people 'round here."

This time, Katie laughed.

"Fine, Cat, you win. I never saw your equal for obstinance. But if you're gonna be hanging around here, then…"

"I won't, I promise," he said quickly, guessing what she was about to say. 

"I… have to admit…" she dropped her eyes, fiddling with the folded letter in her hands. "I'm glad to see you. You've been a… good friend."

"And I'll keep being so, I hope," his heart was soaring and sinking at the same time. It was a beautiful, painful feeling. "Truth is, I couldn't bear the thought of never seeing you again, lassie."

She smiled then… not a polite or teasing smile… but a real smile. Her eyes lit up for just one moment and then the light flickered and vanished… but he had caught it. 

"If you want," she said, suddenly seeming shy. "We can meet for lunch sometime? If you come by the hospital at one, I'll be there."

Yes, Mac wanted. More than she could ever have known. But he only nodded and murmured a commonplace acceptance of her invitation. He wouldn't… he couldn't… push her into any kind of a relationship she didn't want. He'd let her drive the friendship and if ever she wanted more, he'd be only too happy to offer his love again. 

✯✯✯

September, 1944

Letter from Katie to Emma

Don't get the wrong idea, sister mine. Mac's gone and gotten it into his head to stay in England and I can't get rid of the guy… but I confess, I'm glad he's here. He's such a comfortable friend to have around and it's perfectly lovely to have someone to talk to of lunch breaks and evenings. And he's the most sympathetic listener and has the kindest smile. But no… I haven't the slightest idea of falling in love with him, never you mind what you say! I know what you're thinking and you can just stop thinking it, okay? There's a wide, wide difference between friendship and love in spite of what everyone says… I know there is. There, I sound like I'm trying to convince myself when I already know the facts.

Well anyway. There you have it. Although it sounds horribly like courting, it's nothing of the kind. I've even talked to him about Jerry and there's nothing of romance in conversations like that. I've told him pretty much everything and it does feel so good to let it out at long last. I'd be simply pouring my heart out to you if you were here, or Mama, if she was here… man, even to Ronnie… he's as sweet and understanding as any brother could possibly be. But alas, all my family is far, far away, scattered o'er the world and so Mac will have to do. 

It does still hurt terribly. Sometimes it frightens me…. I cried myself to sleep last night. I packed up Jerry's picture a while back, it's too painful to see that smile of his. But I still wear his ring. I'm afraid sometimes, Emma… will I ever make it through this?