TDTLBU Chapter Forty-Four

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS DESCRIPTIONS OF COMBAT

Never had they heard such intense, pressing quiet. All was still… no sound but the lapping of the waves against the sides of the ship. Even the seagulls had ceased to fly. Silence so dead and still it was roaring in their ears… the sounds of the waves amplified until it was deafening. The deck was packed with men, standing so close together they could barely breathe. 

Omaha beach loomed before them… stark and bare and gray. A three-hundred yard stretch of sand ended at the rough rock walls of the cliffs. The only shelter in sight was at the foot of those cliffs. Josh pinned his eyes there, determined to reach the seawall at all costs. Once the gates on the landing craft dropped, it would be a mad, wild, hell-bent-for-leather race for their lives.

The naval bombardment began immediately as the troop ships halted farther behind. The sky turned nearly black with smoke and the bombers flying overhead. The noise from enormous ships guns trained on German machine gun nests combined with the sound of plane engines and falling bombs became a deafening roar. 

As the US Navy rained hellfire on the German army, Josh turned to see the men around him. They were still standing silent and motionless as statues. Jimmy was gripping onto the deck railing with both hands, his face a mask of terror. Mac's eyes blazed and the scar on his forehead stood out, a jagged white line against skin tanned by the desert sun. Ronnie held his head high, his gaze unwavering as he stared out to shore. He didn’t even seem to be afraid. Sam had a rosary wound through his fingers and his lips moved almost imperceptibly. It was then Josh became aware of the quiet murmurs all around him… so faint they could scarcely be heard individually, but combined, they sounded like the wind. Prayers. All around him, men were praying. Jewish prayers to Yaweh, Protestant prayers in Christ's Name, Catholic prayers to the Holy Virgin. Those who could not pray were suddenly wishing they knew how. Many of them tried, repeating in rough, broken words the near-forgotten prayers of childhood or breathing desperate pleas to heaven. Josh felt tears stinging his eyelids… tears of regret.

“And the Lord, He it is that doth go before thee;” Ronnie whispered behind him, clapping a hand on Josh’s shoulder with a reassuring nod and a grim smile. Josh didn't have to look at him to know his blue eyes were gray now… cold, hard, steely gray with flashes of fire. He pitied the man who got on Ronnie's bad side when his eyes were gray. “He will be with thee, He will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.”

Dear God… if it isn't too late… Josh tried to swallow the lump in his throat. The shelling had stopped, the signal was being given. The landing crafts were lining up before the ships. 

This is it. It's time.

Rope ladders were extended down the side of the ship, leading to the smaller craft below. Determination masking the fear in their eyes, the first men began to descend. They did so without faltering or even hesitating. This was not a time for thinking, but for doing. They simply had to go ahead and go, before fear ate them alive.

Josh stepped into the landing craft, following Ken, Jim just behind him. Mac and Ronnie had boarded closer to the front. Josh crouched on the damp metal floor of the boat, leaning heavily against the side. He was shaking, trembling all over and he couldn’t force himself to hold still. The steel helmet suddenly seemed such a heavy weight that he could hardly lift his head and so he rested his cheek against the cold metal of his rifle. His throat was so dry he couldn't swallow… he raised his canteen to his lips, his hands shaking so hard that it clattered against his teeth.

Dear God… be with me now. If I ever needed Thee, it's now. Now more than ever.

They could already feel the impact as machine gun bullets sprayed across the closed gate of the landing craft. Not a single man among them dared to lift his head above the side. The boat was their only protection… the only thing standing between them and eternity. Those gates were the gates of hell.

Beside him, Jimmy leaned over the side to retch into the water, sagging back weakly to fall against Josh's shoulder. He wasn't the only one to lose his last meal. His face was an eerie mix of white and green, his teeth chattering, tears streaming down his face. Josh reached out to grip his arm, wishing he could offer encouragement. But he was too damn scared to think of any. 

“I… I want my mama,” the boy whispered, choking back a sob.

The beach was looming closer and closer now, but still they were too far away to land. There was still time. But the order came immediately to drop the gates. Josh caught sight of the soldier at the front who was manning the gates, his face white, his teeth clenched. He seemed to be frozen, not moving in response to the order. He knew the instant the gate was down, their cover would be gone.

Just a few more moments, God. It's time now. Dear God, if only I hadn't waited so long…

"We're too far away!" The soldier called out to the coxswain, glancing out at the wide expanse of cold, grey sea between them and the beach. But the order came back, shouted over the roar of the bombs and machine gun fire.

"Soldier, I said drop the gates!"

With a deafening clang and a splash, the gate dropped down into the water. The front men jumped to their feet, then stumbled and fell, sinking below the waves as the first wall of fire raked over them. Josh followed the others, crawling along the floor until he reached the opening. He dropped into the water, sinking up to his chest. For a moment, he felt the waves closing over his head and he panicked, struggling to find a firm footing. At last he was able to lift his head above the water and he gasped for air. 

Get me there, God… go with me…

He had never imagined it could be so hard to wade through water. But loaded down as he was with heavy equipment and boots, it was near impossible to slog through to the shore. Jimmy was following him, moving as quickly as he could. When Josh glanced back at him, Jimmy stumbled, reeling backwards as he started to sink. Josh pulled him back up, towing him toward shore as the water dropped to knee level. But Jimmy was dead.

He dragged his fallen comrade towards the shore, keeping his head low as bullets whistled past his ears. The water was ankle deep now and red with blood. Too numb too think, he pushed past floating bodies and pulled Jimmy up onto the wet sand. For only one brief moment, he knelt at his side, only long enough to whisper a goodbye. He reached inside his friend's jacket, pulling out a crumpled envelope… Jimmy's final letter to his family. Stuffing it into his own pocket, he rose to his feet amid the carnage and flying bullets, turning his face to the seawall.

He broke into a run, moving as fast as he could, hampered by water-sodden clothes and wet sand. And suddenly, he froze, standing still on the beach as he ran his eyes over the unthinkable scene before him. He didn't know where anyone from his unit was, didn't even know how he would reach the seawall with the obstructions and bodies piled over the ground. Screaming Mimis, as the soldiers called the German rockets, were streaking through the sky. And with every landing of a rocket, men fell. Flashes of fire from the cliffs… sun and sky obscured by the explosions of smoke and sand… men wrapped in flames from the land mines… bodies flying through the air.

“God… Please, God… Lord… help me. Help all of us.” 

He wanted to pray… for the first time in months, he actually wanted to pray… there were so many things he needed to say… but he couldn’t find the words… and there wasn’t time. 

It must have only been a moment he stood there but it felt like a lifetime. He gripped his rifle so tightly his knuckles were white and his fingertips bleeding. He lifted one hand, pressing it against his left shirt pocket to feel his Bible.

“God…” he gasped out the words… “If I die…” he wanted to say more, but he knew God understood. It wasn't too late. God heard and understood. He felt sudden peace washing over him. It was strange, that overwhelming feeling of peace in the middle of all that death and destruction. Tears spilled down his cheeks, making crooked trails through the grime and blood and sweat on his face. He began to run again, repeating those few words over and over until he didn't even understand the meaning anymore. They came to his lips automatically, again and again.

"God… if I die… if I die…"

Sudden pain slammed into his side, raking across his body like a wave of flame. His knees buckled under him and he crashed to the beach, pressing his face against the sand. He dug his fingernails into the ground, gritting his teeth, the action around him slowing down until it was in slow motion. The roar in his ears dulled and echoed, the sights before his eyes blurring, his mouth filling with the metallic taste of blood. 

"Dad… Mom…” he moaned in pain, squeezing his eyes shut as he felt his strength leaving him. “Emma… I'm okay… I've found Him…" His fingers tightened around his rifle as everything around him slowly faded into darkness.