Chapter Seven
Love! How Absurd!
"Where has everyone gone?" Queen Edith's loud words jolted Caroline out of her reverie. "Why is it so quiet in here? Am I missing something?"
"Forgive me, your Majesty," Caroline rose quickly and hastened to her side. "I fear I have been neglecting you. I assure you, you are missing nothing. There are others in the room, see? The King is studying the maps of the kingdom with his chancellors and the Queen is here with Lady Susan." Caroline had always been careful to refer to the old queen in the proper fashion whenever others were in the room. It was only when they were alone that she called her Aunt Edith. And, of late, it seemed that 'twas only when they were alone that the queen seemed to converse rationally.
"She's right, it is insufferably dull in here," the king threw down the maps with a sigh. Let us have a game! Liven the place up a bit!"
"Shall it be chess, your Majesty? That is always enjoyable." the chancellor suggested.
"Yes, indeed. Call in the game, then."
Caroline suppressed a sigh. She, at least, did not enjoy the game. It always seemed to ridiculously childish. Of course, it was not the traditional board game the king had referred to, but the human version where servants dressed in ridiculous costumes pranced around the black and white checked tile of the throne room floor.
The game was duly called in and the king and queen both joined in merrily, using a giant dice that made Caroline think of a huge block of cheese. She remained standing by the dowager queen's side as the rest of the court became absorbed in the playing.
The sound of trumpets echoed in the distance and the court grew excited, though it was not enough to distract them from the game. Caroline lifted her head, her heart beating wildly and her eyes shining. She knew what those trumpets signified. To all the others, it was the return of the prince but to her... it meant that John was home again. Yet she remained silent. That is, until the dowager queen began to make a fuss over the trumpets.
"What is it? Is the army approaching?"
"No, your Majesty. They are announcing the return of his royal Highness, Prince Edward."
"Oh, is he back now? I thought he had left us for good!"
Caroline wasn't certain how to reply to that, so she remained silent and fortunately, Queen Edith settled down and was quiet for a while. Meanwhile, Caroline fixed her eyes on the double doors at the far end of the room, waiting, waiting for them to open to admit the travelers. And suddenly, the doors did fly open, with a bang, and Prince Edward stood in the entrance and yelled,
"Before we die!"
This uncharacteristic entrance startled the entire court, Queen Edith included.
"Die? Who's died?!"
"Ah, at last! Our dear son!" The king, still holding his gigantic dice, regarded the prince rather nervously, not completely certain what to expect. "We are... we are... we're what?" he turned to his wife.
"Delighted." said she, competently.
"Yes, delighted to see you return."
"Oh!" It was evident that Edward was in another of his sarcastic moods. Caroline looked past him to John who stood behind him. He caught her eye and winked at her. She tried to smile, but lowered her eyes. She had eagerly anticipated his return over the last few weeks, but now that he was back, she felt rather nervous and flustered.
"Your Majesty," the chamberlain was trying to say something. "His royal Highness has returned..."
"Of course he's returned!" the king cried, cutting him off. "You get more senile every day."
Caroline caught John attempting to smother a smile as the prince tried to speak.
"I have returned, Father..."
"Now you're catching it." the king retorted, not letting him finish. In spite of Edward's protests, the king proceeded with his ceremony, as he proclaimed his son a knight.
"I dub thee... now, wait a minute. Shouldn't there be something before that?"
"Yes indeed, Sire. I have it here." the chamberlain was producing an official-looking scroll. John glanced at Caroline again and she smiled faintly. She wasn't entirely certain what was going on but, whatever it was, it was amusing, to say the least.
"Let it be known to all here present," the king began, royally, "That by our command, his royal Highness, the Prince Edward Charles Albert George James Richard Augustus Philip has received our gracious favor..." he paused and squinted at the chamberlain. "Er... who wrote this?"
"You did, Sire." returned that worthy personage with a bow.
"Ah, yes, well, it's magnificent stuff." the king replied, knowingly. "Well worth paying attention to." he resumed. "From this day henceforth shall be entitled to be known as a knight grand cross of the most illustrious order of Saint David the blessed Martyr."
"There's... somebody in the room!" shrieked Queen Edith.
"Very fine." said the king, satisfied. "Now I kiss you on both cheeks." and he proceeded to do so, solemnly. All the while Edward looked rather distressed.
"That's the part I like best," Queen Elinor informed Lady Allison, simpering. "I sometimes give medals to a whole regiment."
"Good." the king stepped back. "Very touching ceremony."
"Most touching, Sire." the chamberlain interposed, eagerly.
"Sycophant!" retorted the king. "Don't always have to agree, you know." Caroline looked down, struggling with an urgent desire to laugh outright.
"Congratulations, dear cousin!" the doors burst open again and Caroline smiled to see her brother entering.
"Oh, Lord!" muttered the king. "Who let him in?"
"Congratulations! I heard all the trumpets!" cried the duke of Montague, ecstatically.
"Now don't you start," Edward sighed while John grinned.
"Oh!" said the duke, perturbed. "A little premature, am I?" he turned to John who was shaking his head, obviously also struggling with laughter as he desperately tried to look appropriately solemn. "I say, have I dropped the tiniest of social brickettes? I mean, I was being quite sincere. Well, you know, as sincere as I ever am." as he spoke, he took hold of Edward's medal and frowned at it. "Oh, no!" he rolled his eyes to heaven and dropped it again.
"Who is it?" yelled Queen Edith. "Has there been an uprising?"
"No, your Majesty." Caroline assured her, quietly. "It's just the Duke of Montague."
"Is he still alive?" she continued, loudly. "I thought we buried him!" as Caroline tried to quiet the queen, Edward informed his parents of what she had already expected... he had not even so much as made an offer to the Princess Selena. That is, he tried to tell them. But the king was possessed of the bad habits both of interrupting and of being distracted. He continued playing chess, rather calmly, in spite of Queen Elinor loudly accusing him of cheating.
"What is the matter, my boy? Did she run off into a blizzard and fall off her horse?" the king interrupted. A few of the court attendants laughed and Caroline looked down, the blood rushing to her cheeks. She missed the concerned look that John sent her way. He, at least, did not appear amused by the reference to last year's incident.
As Edward tried to explain to his parents why he could not marry the princess, he became frustrated, for all attempts to reason with them fell short. An alliance must be made and he was just complicating things by his feelings.
"Father, it's a small thing and doubtless very irritating to you but when I marry, as needs I must one day, it will be for the convenience of love, rather than the convenience of... convenience."
"Love? Did he say love?" cried Queen Elinor.
"Ha, ha!" laughed the king. "How absurd. What has love got to do with getting married?"
Caroline shook her head. This entire mess was going from bad to worse. The king and queen seemed to grasp the theme of love being entirely indifferent in marriage and tried to press that idea into their obstinate son's head. And Queen Edith wasn't about to be left out of the conversation.
"What has bread got to do with wedding cake?" cried she, irrelevantly. But, perhaps she made the most sense after all. For, as the king and queen repeated, firmly, "What has love got to do with getting married?", she wrapped the whole situation up grandly by declaring loudly,
"We are not prepared to say!"
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